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  I glanced at Madden and the look in his eyes was one of utter defeat. He’d accepted his fate and was asking me to end it.

  Picking up the knife, I held it against his throat.

  Just end it X. You’ve done what Vaughn wanted you to do. Just end it.

  I closed my eyes and pressed the knife into Madden’s jugular.

  I couldn’t separate myself from it. I wasn’t cold anymore.

  Madden’s gaze met mine. The best part was when their life slipped away. You could see it in their eyes, the exact moment their heart stopped beating and when their soul left their flesh. The exact moment they became a shell.

  The eyes were the windows to the soul. It was the best bit.

  Madden blinked.

  Then I cut.

  Nine

  Mercy

  X told me he could be gone a few days.

  His reasoning was lax, but I assumed it had to do with his target’s movements. Like a game of chess, he had to get his pieces in place before he could strike. The ultimate checkmate.

  I understood his trepidation in not allowing me to see him in action. I mean, taking your girlfriend out on a hit? Holy screwed up date, Batman.

  And shit, the fact that I referred to myself as X’s girlfriend had to be a sign of one of my screws coming loose, too. I didn’t know how to define what we were, but it wouldn’t be with a label that was normal by society’s standards.

  In amongst all of that turmoil was a sick fascination with the life of an assassin. After seeing my family so brutally murdered at the hands of Sykes and planning my own hit, no matter how hasty it seemed, I wanted to immerse myself. I wanted to learn every facet so I was prepared and then some and after… After I actually got what I wanted, what then? How was I meant to help X with his own revenge if I couldn’t fight hard or smart enough to stand by his side.

  I sat on the sofa, the only light in the cottage was from the fire I’d lit in the hearth. I watched the flames lick at the wood I’d artistically piled just so and wondered what it would be like to stand with X as his equal…as an assassin to be feared in my own right. How much of myself would I have to give up to get the thing I wanted most in the world?

  I already knew the answer to that question and contemplating other options wasn’t going to help me decide otherwise. I’d give up the last shred of everything that made me Mercy Reid to be his. To be X’s other half, to be his love, his life and his equal.

  It was an alarming thought.

  The sound of an engine humming up the driveway snapped me out of me reverie and I listened as it approached, the familiar rumble of X’s muscle car reaching my ears. A moment later, the engine fell silent and the door slammed. Footsteps crunched over gravel before a key slid into the lock and twisted in the mechanism. The door was thrust open hard and X strode in with a blast of cold air that made the flames in the fireplace flicker furiously.

  I stood as he slammed the door closed and his gaze met mine. He looked manic, totally out of his mind, and my heart jackhammered in my chest. I felt like I was having a motherfucking heart attack.

  I didn’t have to ask him if he’d completed the hit. It was written all over his face.

  I opened my mouth to speak, but he growled deep in his chest and strode across the room like a lion stalking his prey. He came straight for me, a hungry look in his green eyes and I was frozen to the spot. Mesmerized, captivated, enraptured.

  He pushed me back against the wall and my head cracked against the plaster with a dull thud. I gasped and he sealed his mouth over mine, plunging his tongue in and twining it with mine. He didn’t just kiss me, he devoured me, fisting his hands into my T-shirt and tearing it over my head, breaking our lips for a split second before latching on again.

  My body ignited against his, desperate for his touch, desperate for his cock to fill me. What had happened to him? Had he filled Vaughn’s request? Had he paid the price? The monster that was growing inside of me asked, how had he done it…?

  X hooked his hands around my thighs and lifted me up. I curled my legs around his waist, thrusting against his erection and moaning in annoyance at the fact that we were both still dressed from the waist down.

  He stumbled across the room, his mouth still on mine, teeth tearing at my bottom lip. There was a crash as he knocked over a lamp and he dumped me on the side table against the wall, shoving the bag of ammunition that sat atop it onto the floor. It hit the boards with a boom that echoed through the stillness, but we ignored it, intent on each other. He undid my jeans and jerked them off, ripping at my knickers once he had access to them.

  With a growl he fell to his knees and forced my legs apart. His tongue rasped the length of my folds once and he purred against my clit before stroking me again.

  Something had happened…something he wasn’t dealing with and he needed our connection to bring him back. Right now, X needed to fuck. Fucking me was tangible to him, much like the switchblade he’d been holding onto. This grounded him.

  He bit my clit hard, his teeth sinking into my sensitive skin and I cried out, arching my back. I fisted my hands into his unruly hair and forced his face into me and he bit harder. Sweet, fucking…hell. He plunged two fingers into my pussy and began pumping furiously, my skin heating as my orgasm spiked.

  “X, fuck…X, I’m going to come.”

  Abruptly, he pulled away, rising to his feet. He shoved off his jeans and boots and stood naked before me. My gaze fixed on his erection and I went to reach forward and grasp him in my hands, but he grabbed my arm, hauled me from the side table and dragged me over to the sofa. Curling his hand into my hair he twisted and shoved me face forward over the back. I cried out as my scalp bloomed with sharp pain, and as he forced my ass up in the air, X’s free hand came down and slapped me hard.

  I cried out and jerked beneath him, but he pinned my legs with his and held firm. I couldn’t move, not without pain.

  His palm came down again, but this time he soothed, massaging the swollen skin of the cheek he’d just slapped. Then he began to probe, his cock pressing against me. His fingers traced the length of my pussy, teasing my opening, before climbing upwards and my breathing spiked as I realized what he wanted. His thumb circled my ass, pressing against the puckered hole and I moaned, biting the soft back of the sofa.

  “I need it,” he panted above me. “It’ll hurt, but it will feel so good.”

  I moaned, half in fear, half in complete submission.

  “Let me fuck your ass, Mercy.” He folded his body over mine, his lips grazing the shell of my ear. “Let me claim all of you.”

  I squeezed my eyes closed, curling my fingers into the back of the sofa. I wanted him so fucking bad. I’d never wanted to give total control to him more than I did now.

  He straightened up and began rubbing his length between my ass cheeks, his breathing labored. He was so hot and hard against my skin that I burned underneath his touch. I needed to release the tension that had coiled to unbearable levels inside my core. I needed him to fuck me. I needed him to fuck me hard.

  “Yes,” I moaned, thrusting back into him. “Claim me. Take me. I’m yours, X.”

  X moaned, letting his grip on my hair slacken. He began stroking my hole, massaging his saliva and my arousal into me, dipping his forefinger inside. It was slow and torturous, the anticipation eating away at my control. My legs began to shake as my clit throbbed and I moaned uncontrollably as he prepared my body to take him.

  When he finally pressed the head of his cock into me, I gasped, my body instinctively trying to jerk away. X’s hand held me firm as he smeared my arousal, slicking his path.

  “Don’t fight me, Mercy,” he said, his voice low and husky. “Relax. Take me. Take it all.”

  I did as he commanded, relaxing my muscles and he pressed into me again, each time a little more than the last. I switched off, focusing on the sensation and loosening myself as he invaded the place no man had been before.

  X moaned loudly as he sank deep inside m
e, his balls slapping against my thighs. I’d taken him all the way, and I quivered as he held, constricting around him.

  “Fuck,” he gasped. “Relax or I’ll come. I want to pound my cock into you, Mercy. I want you to scream when you come. I want to fuck you blind.”

  “Fucking hell, X,” I gasped. I was already blind as far as I was concerned. Blindly in lust with this dangerous man on the brink of insanity.

  Slowly, he pulled out to the tip and stroked deep again and I gasped, desperately trying to please him. He increased his pace, easing me into it and before long he was fucking me hard, slapping against my skin, grunting like a wild animal. It hurt and felt amazing all at the same time, pleasure and pain, the thing that I desired the most. He’d wanted to claim me there the first moment he’d bent me over Weiss’ desk in The Gambler’s Inn and now he was getting everything he ever wanted from my body.

  I plunged two fingers into my slick pussy and almost came apart when I felt him inside me. I never thought it would feel like this… Raw, powerful, magnificent. He owned me completely in that moment and I didn’t have a fucking problem with it.

  My body melded to his as he pumped his cock into my ass, his hands grasping my hips. I felt his balls slap against my thighs, heavy, so fucking close to pouring their seed inside me.

  “So fucking tight,” X grunted. “Fuck yourself with your fingers. I can feel you. You’re mine…mine.”

  I palmed my clit and in a moment of insanity, I reared back into him, his name a scream on my lips. X thrust into my ass with a grunt, striking deeper than he had before and his orgasm began spilling into me. I felt his warmth and I began to shatter, rubbing my clit furiously as he pumped. Stars, galaxies, universes, it was like I saw them all as I came apart. Overcome with such intense pleasure, I wondered if I’d ever be the same again.

  The last of my orgasm ebbed away into the ether and I collapsed over the sofa, breathing hard, blood whooshing in my ears, my entire body feeling like jelly. I had no words, none at all.

  X pulled out slowly, rubbing the head of his cock against my raw flesh. He breathed heavily and I glanced back at him, totally spent. He stood tall behind me, dark and menacing, a look of complete satisfaction etched in his handsome features. He held his cock in his hand, his gaze locked on the place he’d just claimed as his own.

  My eyes began to droop and X sighed, massaging my ass, then my lower back. Finally, he scooped me up into his arms, his lips brushing against my forehead.

  “Good girl,” he murmured. “Good fucking girl.”

  Striding through the cottage, he placed me on the bathroom floor, wrapping a towel around me as he filled the bath with steaming water, dumping some kind of spicy soap underneath the taps. My nervous system was totally overloaded, so I watched listlessly as he took care of me. He was caring for me.

  I stared at him as he watched the tub fill, trying to work out what he was thinking. When he’d first come in he was manic, teetering on the edge, but now he looked satisfied and warm. X, the cold-hearted killer, looked warm and caring. I winced as I shifted, my muscles aching and my ass tender.

  X glanced at me, his brow furrowed.

  “I’m okay,” I whispered, my throat feeling raw.

  “Did I—” He hesitated.

  I shook my head.

  X glanced back at the tub and killed the water. Standing, he scooped me up again and I let the towel drop to the floor. As he held me over the water, I dipped my toe in and his gaze met mine. I nodded to let him know it was perfect, eager to soak my weary flesh.

  He lowered me gently and I sighed as the water enveloped my body up to my breasts. He slid in behind me, pulling my body between his legs and I fell back against his chest with a sigh. In a fucking bath with a hitman. What the hell was this world coming to?

  I ran my hands over his thighs, caressing the hard muscle and he sighed, tightening his grip on my hips.

  “Did you pay Vaughn’s price?” I asked, circling my thumbs.

  I felt X nod, his breath hot against my neck.

  “What now?”

  “We wait.”

  I assumed X and Vaughn had worked out some kind of deal, but now wasn’t the time to press for more details. I just let myself soak in the water, melting against X’s chest. Despite everything, and the fact that my ass was sore, I felt content.

  “I think we should do that again sometime,” I whispered, closing my eyes.

  I felt X stiffen against me, his entire body and his cock.

  “Your resolve is inspiring, Mercy,” he whispered.

  “You think?”

  “I know.”

  I turned my head so I could see his eyes and I didn’t understand what I found staring back at me. Swirling emotions that were still foreign to him.

  “Are you okay?” I murmured as his hand rose from the water to cup my cheek.

  “I’m not sure,” he replied running the pad of his thumb across my lips.

  It was his first hit after his conditioning broke and he obviously wasn’t dealing. It led me to believe more than ever that he’d been a good man before. If he couldn’t separate…maybe he’d been good all along.

  “We’ll work it out.”

  X closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against my temple. “I hope so,” he sighed, tightening his grasp on me.

  I had no bloody idea what the future held with such an unpredictable man, but I wanted to find out. Right then, in that moment, in the afterglow of sex, it felt like we could take on anyone and win if we were together. Sykes and his Necromancers, Greggor, Weiss and Royal Blood. If we were together then they didn’t stand a chance.

  But I knew that X had to stabilize before we left the cottage. To move on, he needed to make peace with the things he’d done. He needed to decide if he wanted to continue being a hired hitman, or get out of the game entirely.

  He had to decide who he wanted to be. Then, and only then, would he be able to stave off his insanity.

  How he was going to do that was another question entirely.

  Ten

  X

  “Are you sure you can do this today?”

  I glanced up at Mercy, who stood in the middle of the yard outside the cottage. Her dark hair was piled up on her head, the sun making her natural blonde at the roots sparkle.

  I nodded, unable to answer because all I could see was her bent over the back of the sofa, my cock pressing into the place she trusted only me to claim. I resisted the urge to push my hand down the front of my jeans and rearrange my thickening dick. Claiming her there… It had spoken to me deeper than any other connection we’d had during sex. She’d been so tight, warm…responsive. Just thinking about it made my balls begin to ache.

  Since all I could think about was fucking Mercy's ass, it had obviously had the desired effect. The hit had been compartmentalized to the back of my mind, separated from my waking life and separated from her. It could only mean one thing.

  I was stabilizing.

  “It’s not that I don’t like trying to beat your ass with my bare hands,” Mercy said and I smirked at the word ass. “But you only came back last night. Are you sure?”

  Stepping up behind her, I ran my hand over her ass and she flinched slightly. Turning away, she took a step back like she had to distance herself and I frowned.

  “Did you like it?” I asked, watching her stretch her arms over her head. Her tits stuck out, her nipples hard against her tight little tank top and I felt my cock stirring.

  She smirked.

  I cocked my head to the side. “Can you feel where I’ve been?”

  “You know full well that I can,” she retorted, trying to hide a smile. “Answer my question, X.”

  “Yes.” I gestured for her to come forward.

  “What do you want me to do?”

  “You know the deal. Try and hit me.”

  Not waiting for me to ready myself, Mercy lunged forward, her fist raised to strike, and I grasped her forearm and twisted her around, pinning her arm to he
r back.

  “You’re making it too easy,” I murmured into her ear. “You’re giving away your move before you’ve even made it.”

  “Then what do I do?” I let her go and she turned to face me.

  “You need to strike quickly and precisely. Make a decision and don’t hesitate. You’re thinking about it too much.”

  She pulled away and faced me. She lunged with a cry and this time I caught her wrist. Before I could wrench her around, she kicked with her left leg and her boot connected with my side. She didn’t put enough force behind it so I hardly stumbled. With a smirk, I jerked her forward, making her footing slip and she fell flat on her ass.

  “Ow,” she complained as I hauled her to her feet again.

  “Sore ass?” I asked with a lewd wink.

  “If I wasn’t so pissed off right now, I’d say something about playful X.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Playful?”

  She sighed before saying, “Must’ve been imagining it.”

  “You don’t have to hold back,” I said, gesturing for her to come forward again. “Hit me.”

  She tensed and began circling me again. I watched for her tell, raising my fists.

  She feigned with her right and instinctively I banked left, but she swung with her opposite fist and clipped me on the temple.

  “Score!” she chirped as I shook my head. Talk about playing me...

  I glanced up to give her a mouthful and there was a man standing in front of me. I jerked backwards in surprise, my eyes widening. Then I realized I knew him. He was familiar.

  He had to be in his mid-fifties at least, with salt and pepper hair, pockmarked skin and hard eyes. He was a sadist, a motherfucking rapist… Hadn’t I been through this before?

  “What is it?” the man asked with a smirk. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  I launched myself onto him with a roar, knocking him flat to the ground. We rolled once, twice…then I was on top, my hands twisted into the front of his shirt. He would deserve it, he would deserve the pain I was going to inflict on him for hurting those women. Fucking bastard.