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  I straddled her and raised my fist with a cry as my muscles coiled into a tight spring, ready to let loose.

  Before I could strike, Rogue slammed her palm on the mat and the beast inside me kinda felt disappointed. She’d tapped way too early, but it was still only the first round. She was smart and points could be made up. The crowd cheered and I rose to my feet, letting the tension ease from my arm.

  My first fight back, against Rogue no less, and I’d won. Holy shit. That had to be some kind of fluke.

  Rogue sat up as the referee called it, wiping her brow on the back of her arm. She looked pissed, but that was Rogue. She was a sore loser and the kind of fighter who wanted to be a winner at everything. Those kinds of people were few and far between. You know, the ones who are just good at everything they pick up. That wasn’t her and it wasn’t me.

  I held out my hand and she scowled. But to my absolute surprise, she lifted her hand and grasped mine.

  I helped her to her feet and she tore her hand from mine the moment she was upright.

  “I still hate your fucking guts,” she said.

  I smiled and shook my head. It was as close as anything we would ever have to an understanding.

  Stepping away, I held out my hands, palms out and laughed. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

  Chapter 27

  Ash

  Things kind of went back to normal after a couple of rounds.

  Well, the normal for me when I was fighting before. The only difference was that Hammer was keeping his distance. I wasn’t sure what his game was, but I kept my eye on him at all times. And Hamish kept his word and watched the fuck when I was in the cage.

  I was winning, Ren was winning and things were going as well as we could’ve hoped. Hammer and me were neck and neck on the leaderboard and the course was set for one hell of a Championship smack down.

  It was six weeks until the fight and hopefully I would be able to put an end to this once and for all.

  Beat was quiet without Coach, the Twins and Josie around. They’d gone to Sydney for the AUFC season and wouldn’t be back for a few weeks, so Ren and I pretty much had the place to ourselves. As she put it, it was all eat, sleep, train, repeat.

  Once this chapter was over, we could start thinking about what came next. I still didn’t know.

  I was standing near the bar waiting for Ren to get her stuff, when I spied a guy staring at me. Narrowing my eyes, I wondered if he had something to do with Hammer and was about to go give him a piece of my mind when he approached me.

  “Ashley Fuller?”

  I glanced at the man and looked him up and down. His clothes were too nice to for this scum sucking hole and he held a pretty expensive looking smartphone in his hand. There was no way this dude was associated with Hammer. No fuckin’ way.

  He grimaced when I didn’t reply and held out his free hand. “I’m Scott Grayson. I’m a scout with the AUFC.”

  My eyebrows rose. I wasn’t expecting that. “Things that dire you need to come poking around underground cages?”

  He dropped his hand and shrugged. “The league’s only six years in. We come where there’s talent and if we need to come to shit stinking holes like this one, we will.”

  I grunted. At least the dude had the decency to tell it like it was. The league was still young and the money wasn’t quite there compared with the cash that was flung about underground rackets. Short story, they needed draw cards to bring in the fans and sponsors.

  “Look, I’ll cut to the chase.”

  “Good,” I retorted, already gearing up to hear the spiel.

  “We want you back in the league.”

  I snorted. “After you cunts kicked me out for protecting my sister?” I shook my head, anger beginning to rise in my guts. “Why the fuck would I want to go back after I was treated like a fuckin’ animal?”

  “Because you were one, Fuller.”

  I couldn’t help wincing as his words hit home. I’d been trying to do the right thing in my mind, but he was right. I’d been an animal and ruined everything.

  “Why now?” I asked, curling my fingers into tight fists.

  “You’re lucky they sent me,” Grayson replied. “I convinced them that you’d changed.”

  I snorted at the irony.

  “I’ve seen you with Ren Miller,” he went on and my gaze snapped to his.

  “What’s that meant to mean?”

  “I’ll never understand why such a promising fighter quit, but seeing her with you? Shit, I get it. I don’t know what it is, but something’s changed you and it looks like it was her.” He fished in his coat pocket, pulled out a card and held it out. “Here, take my card. Have a think about it. We’ve got an offer lined up that is…let’s just say it’s non-standard. Come in to the office and let’s talk about it, hey?”

  I snatched the card from his fingers and glanced at the AUFC emblem on the front before shoving it in my pocket.

  Grayson backed away. “Think about it Fuller. It’s a good deal.”

  I spied Ren weaving her way through the crowd and began to panic. Something inside my stupid fuckin’ head told me to keep my trap shut.

  Why the hell I didn’t want her to know about this was beyond me. We had a goal to bring down Hammer the right way and I owed it to her and to Violet to see it through. This whole scout shit would stick a spanner in the wheel big time. Besides, I didn’t know if I was even going to see the guy, let alone accept his offer. Why the fuck would I want to go back to pro?

  A little voice inside my stupid head said, because it’s a future. I could give Ren things, provide for her, and make sure she didn’t have to want for anything ever again.

  But Ren gave up pro to be with me and if I went back… She said she didn’t want that life, but if I took it... Was she telling the truth?

  What was I meant to do?

  Ren stopped in front of me, all smiling and sexy and I couldn’t say it.

  “Who was that?” she asked, peering over my shoulder.

  “Some guy,” I replied as absently as I could.

  She raised an eyebrow at me, but didn’t say anything. “You wanna split?”

  I nodded. Yeah, I needed to get out of here. I needed to get away from the noise and think about the ticking time bomb that had just been hurled at my head.

  Ren grasped my hand and knocked her shoulder against mine. “Then let’s go, ape.”

  I promised I wouldn’t keep secrets from Ren anymore. I promised and what the fuck was I doing? I hoped she wouldn’t find out until I’d had a chance to think about it first.

  Tightening my grip on her hand, I put a lid on my dangerous thoughts and took my Spitfire back to Beat.

  Rattled wasn’t the right word to describe how I was feeling. It probably was, but times it by ten and you had me. I couldn’t sleep, even with Ren in my arms. Even after fucking her senseless. I couldn’t sleep.

  I got up before she woke and went for a run, trying to work out some of the stress. I ran all the way from Brunswick to Royal Park and it wasn’t until I hit the train station across the street from the Zoo, and the morning sun broke through the trees, that I stopped.

  I thought I’d had some big decisions in my life, but this felt like the biggest one of all. All those other times it’d just been my life that was changed by them. I had to shoulder those burdens…but this time it was about more than that. I had to think about Ren…fuck, my Spitfire who’d given up so much already, and Violet. She was getting better, but it was a slow road and I didn’t want to leave her and go to Sydney. She was on her own with so much as it was.

  I was almost exclusively living with Ren these days. I kinda felt bad about Violet being on her own at the house, but every time I brought it up, she said it was fine. She liked the peace and quiet and the alone time. She said she didn’t like to mix with other people, but that was the problem. She needed to get out into the world again.

  Hopping from foot to foot as the day brightened and parrots squawked ove
rhead in the trees, I pulled my phone from my pocket and brought up Violet’s number and hit call.

  After a few rings, she picked up. “Ash? What the hell?” She sounded groggy. “It’s six thirty in the morning.”

  “I just wanted to call you and see how you were doing,” I said. It was a half-truth, but I kinda wanted to talk to her.

  “Liar,” Violet declared.

  “How do you do that?” I groaned, switching my phone to the other ear.

  “Female intuition.”

  “Great.”

  “What happened?” Violet changed her tone, prodding me to spill the beans. It didn’t matter that I knew all her moves; she got me with them every time.

  “I was approached by an AUFC scout.”

  “What?” she shrieked down the phone, and I had to hold it away from my ear or suffer permanent hearing loss. “When did that happen?”

  “Last night.”

  “At that fighting racket? Really?”

  “I was weirded out by it, but the guy’s legit. Checked him out and it’s all aboveboard.”

  “What are you going to do? You said yes, right?”

  Once upon a time, my little sister had been there for just about everything. She’d come to bouts, visit me at Beat and make sure I was following my nutritional plan. I guess she didn’t have any idea what she wanted to do with herself, so making sure I was on the right path was important to her. I didn’t know who was more devastated that I wasn’t fighting pro. Old habits must die hard.

  “I said I’d think about it.”

  “You don’t sound thrilled.”

  “It’s not an easy choice,” I said, watching the parrots flying through the gum trees overhead. Green and blue flashes paired with a whole lotta screeching.

  “Did you want to fight pro back then?” Violet asked.

  It was a simple bloody question, but suddenly I didn’t know the answer to it. So much had happened, so much shit, and that life was something that was no longer in my grasp. I guess I sort of forgot about it, but now things had changed.

  “But Ren gave it up. We could’ve-”

  “Forget about Ren for a moment,” she argued.

  “I can’t forget her Violet. Ren’s everything.”

  “I was gunna say, forget her and think about yourself, but somehow I reckon you’ve already got your answer.”

  “I promised I wouldn’t keep things from her…”

  Violet sighed and I felt bad about dumping yet another pile of crap on her. “Tell her, Ash. If she’s everything to you, then tell her.”

  “If we’re talking about our futures, then you should be a shrink,” I declared.

  “Oh, ha ha.”

  “How is everything going with that?”

  “Good. Better. I’m trying.”

  “Good.”

  “Have… How’s everything with…” She hesitated and I could sense the uncertainty in her voice. There was a hint of fear in there too and I curled my free hand into a tight fist.

  “So far it’s just been words,” I said, trying to keep my anger in check. “But we’ll get him Violet. I promise.”

  There was silence on the other end and it went on for so long, I thought she’d hung up.

  “Good,” she whispered. “Good…”

  Chapter 28

  Ren

  I was back in the game.

  My head was on straight. I was on top of my focus. I had this.

  I was in the cage, my fifth fight of the season and I was up against a tough fighter by the name of Claw. I’d gotten over the silly names ages ago, but hers always made me laugh. We stood eye to eye, her five eight to mine, her blonde hair to my almost black. Light and dark. Short way of putting it, she was my match in height, weight and skill. She wasn’t glad I was back and I wasn’t pleased she was still here.

  I caught Ash’s eye through the cage as I toed my line and he smiled, nodding once. My lips curved into a grin and I turned to face Claw. She scowled at me before raising her fists in a show of strength.

  I wondered how she’d try and take me down this time. What would I do? That was the crux of it. What would I do and then do the absolute opposite.

  As the bout began, she started circling, darting forward every now and then, testing my reflexes. On the fourth lunge, she kept going and slammed into me. I stumbled back a step and we grappled, both of us trying to secure a hold, but not being able to get it.

  Crying out in frustration, Claw backed off and we faced each other again. This time, I was on the offensive and threw a punch over her guard. I clipped her on the jaw and she stumbled to the side. While she was disoriented, I slammed my knee into her stomach. She hunched over, but used the momentum to shove me backward.

  “Reign!” A familiar, slimy voice from the sidelines filtered through my focus and I shook my head to clear it. “I remember how your cunt feels.”

  My gaze snapped to the edge of the cage and caught on a satisfied looking Hammer and I froze. I wasn’t in the ring anymore. I was in Beat, face down on the mat, a heavy weight pushing me down…an unwanted finger pressing into me.

  Stars exploded in my vision and my head snapped to the side, the world violently spinning out of control. I hit the mat, my head cracking against the hard leather, screams and yelling echoing from someplace far off. I couldn’t stop it, I couldn’t react, my control was just…gone.

  I was out.

  I was vaguely aware of being carried, my limbs being jostled around uselessly by the movement.

  Is this what all those women felt when I knocked them out?

  I’d never been KO’d before and to put it bluntly… Fuck, it sucked.

  “Ren? C’mon Ren, wake up.”

  Hands cupped my face and fingers pried open my eyelids and I squinted at the sudden burst of light.

  I was lying down someplace.

  “Give her a minute.” A voice I didn’t recognize. “Her pupils are responsive; she’ll come round in a few minutes. Give her some room to breathe.”

  Typical Ash, I found myself thinking. Just let me sleep a while longer.

  It was inevitable when I started to surface, my vision starting to come back, with black spots fading into blinding light. Blinking hard, I groaned, trying to clear my head.

  “Ash,” I rasped, lifting my hand to grasp my head.

  “Ren, thank fuck,” Ash said, relief flooding his voice.

  I squinted up at him as he came back into focus. “Fuck, my head hurts.”

  He started to laugh in relief and pressed a cold pack against my temple. Swatting him away, I tried to sit up but a man I didn’t recognize pressed his hands onto my shoulders.

  “Stay down for a while longer,” he said. “You might be disoriented for a while yet.”

  Ash pressed the cold pack against my head again and I winced, but I let him fuss. Ash Fuller playing nurse was kinda hot and if my pride wasn’t hurting more than my head was, maybe I’d be a little turned on by it.

  “Don’t worry Spitfire,” Ash murmured. “We’ve all been there.”

  “You’ve been knocked out?” I scoffed, staring up at him. “Fat chance.”

  “Yeah, I have,” he retorted. “You’ll be fine.”

  “My head will be fine.” I wasn’t so sure about my pride.

  Fuck. I’d been KO’d. I’d let Hammer get to me. Me and everyone else was worried about Ash being weak, but I was the link that broke. I’d let him down.

  Something inside me said it was a stupid thought, but there were a lot of voices arguing against it. I’d let Hammer get to me, therefore I was weak. I. Was. Weak.

  “You’ve had a brilliant run if this is the first time you’ve been KO’d Spitfire. It doesn’t mean anything.”

  “Did you see it?” I whispered, wondering if Ash had seen the moment I lost my focus. Had he seen Hammer?

  He shook his head. “I saw you fall. I didn’t see the punch.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut, kind of glad he didn’t. Too many questions, too many thing
s that could make him snap.

  “You’ll bounce back from this,” he said. “I’m here to help.”

  “The points...”

  “Don’t worry about the points. There’s more than enough time to make them up.”

  I rolled my eyes and put my hand on the cold pack, swatting his big paw away.

  “Do you want to hang here for a bit or...?”

  “Take me back to Beat,” I said, not wanting to be here any longer. I didn’t want to see their stares and hear the whispers. Reign of Terror wasn’t so terrifying anymore. She had a chink in her armor. Something that could be exploited.

  I let Ash help me off the stretcher, curl his arm around my waist and lead me from The Underground, his assurances that I’d bounce back from this going straight over my throbbing head.

  I’d choked. Again. Right when things mattered the most.

  How was I meant to come back from that?

  Chapter 29

  Ren

  Ash never left my side all night.

  Usually, I’d find it totally swoon worthy and still be in bed asleep in his arms, but that wasn’t my reality. Instead, I’d left him asleep and ventured out into the morning where the only people around were the garbage guys with their truck and the birds. Couldn’t forget the birds. The flowering gum across the street was swarming with little green, red and blue Rosellas as they squawked and screeched in their ADD need for a sugar high.

  I walked down to Sydney Road, feeling like the only person in the entire city awake at this hour. I needed some me time so I could think about what to do. I had to do something. A new mindset, a strategy for countering this uncertainty that Hammer had poisoned me with. If there was something I could do, I still wasn’t sure what it was.

  Stepping around the corner onto the usually bumper to bumper Sydney Road, I saw the sign for the coffee shop was out on the street. I glanced through the window and saw Seth behind the counter playing with his phone. I hadn’t seen him in months, but he hadn’t seemed to have changed at all. He was still this tall, lanky hipster with his artfully arranged hair, glasses and designer stubble. He was just…familiar. There wasn’t a soul in sight, so I pushed open the front door.