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  “Why didn’t you tell me about all of this?” I asked, gesturing around me. “Why didn’t you tell me about Violet?”

  “It never came up,” he said, casting his gaze downward.

  “It never came up?” I scoffed.

  “No, it didn’t. And even if it did, then you would’ve asked questions.”

  “Questions? Of course I would’ve asked questions Ash.”

  “And I wouldn’t have been able to answer those either. All I ever did was keep secrets from you…”

  “Yeah, but we’re talking through them now.”

  He let his head drop into his hands. “At what cost Ren? He almost-”

  I curled my fingers around his wrists and pulled with all my strength. “Look at me,” I said. “Look at me Ash.”

  His gaze fixed on mine and I saw the hurt and shame he still carried with him despite all that we’d been through.

  Cupping his face, I said, “You saved me. I’m pissed at you for what you did next, but you saved me.”

  “I couldn’t save Violet,” he whispered.

  “You can’t control everything. You can’t keep blaming yourself for what he did to her. Violet never blamed you Ash, so stop blaming yourself for someone else’s actions.”

  His hand ran up the length of my forearm and covered mine against his face. “You make it sound so easy. You and Violet keep telling me, but it’s not like flipping a switch.”

  “I know,” I said. “I know better than anyone.”

  “If this is love...then why does it hurt?” Ash asked, leaning his forehead against mine.

  “No pain, no gain, Maverick.”

  A smile began tugging at his lips and he sighed.

  “What?”

  “That’s the first time you’ve called me Maverick since…”

  I lifted my other hand and traced his lips with a fingertip. “I guess this ‘getting to know you’ thing is working.”

  “Thank fuck.”

  Chapter 17

  Ash

  After our long ass conversation in the lounge, Ren and I decided to go back to the gym and go a few more rounds.

  Emotional exhaustion didn’t sit well with me and I needed the physical burn to balance it out.

  I’d learned a lot about myself the past few weeks, but I’d learned a lot more about Ren. All the little things she thought were so important really were just that. No matter how mundane, they were all things that made her up as a person and I found myself wanting to know them all. If it was attached to Ren Miller, I wanted to know it.

  I knew I loved her, or it was something I thought was supposed to be love. I’d never felt it before so I wasn’t sure if it was real. If I was going to say those words to her, I better fucking mean it.

  I watched as she attacked a speedball with perfect timing, mesmerized by the motion of her upper body. Naturally, my gaze settled on her tits and I instantly thought about sucking on them.

  “Eyes on the prize, huh?” she declared, not even breaking rhythm.

  A grin tugged at my lips. “You don’t miss much.”

  “Nope.”

  I watched her as she moved and wondered what she wanted to do next. I wouldn’t be stuck in here forever, even though it felt like it some days, and she wouldn’t have to come back to be with me all the time. The thought of having to share her with the world again kind of alarmed me, but whatever she wanted, I’d give it to her.

  “You’ve got that look on your face again,” she declared, swapping to favor her left hand. “Out with it Maverick.”

  I grinned like a stupid fool when she called me that. I remembered the day she’d pulled me back from the edge of that rager at Beat; the moment she said I’d gone Hulk on her. She’d sat on the mat with me like some kind of motherfucking beast whisperer and called me Maverick. I had no idea what she meant until later, but she could’ve called me a dickhead and I would’ve reacted the same way. Totally under her spell.

  “What do you want to do?” I asked. “If you’re not going to go pro, then what…” I shrugged.

  “I dunno,” she replied. “What about you?”

  I grimaced. “Ditto.”

  “You don’t have to hit the big time to be happy,” she said, stopping her onslaught on the speedball. “You don’t need money and fame to be content in life.”

  Fuck. She amazed me every day.

  “What?” she asked, giving me a look. I must be staring like a slack-jawed hick.

  I reached out for her and she leaned against my chest. Breathing in, she smelt like sweat and flowers. She smelt like my Spitfire.

  “What do you need, then?” I asked, wrapping my arms around her.

  She shrugged. “People, I guess. Simplicity. Being at the top isn’t always as great as it’s made out to be.”

  I could relate to that.

  “One day at a time,” she breathed.

  Fuck me. Ren Miller was my match in every way and she was becoming mine again. I was never letting her go again. Hell and back had a nice ring to it, because that’s how far I’d go to give her everything she ever wanted.

  And me? I was always hers, so she never even had to try.

  I stood in the doorway watching Ren disappear down the driveway. What I wouldn’t give to run after her and beg her to stay, but I knew space was one of the things that was keeping us together.

  “She’s good for you.”

  I glanced behind me as Violet shuffled out into the foyer.

  “You think?”

  She smiled. “Duh. You haven’t been an asshole to me once since she came back.”

  “Is that how you measure success?”

  She tapped her forehead. “I have an inbuilt asshole-meter.”

  I turned back just as Ren slid through the gate, her hand rising in a small wave. I waved back, already feeling empty without her here.

  Closing the door, I turned to my little sister who was grinning at me like a fool. I was feeling the exact same way inside, but fucked if I was letting that shit crack my tough exterior.

  “I like her,” Violet said as I stepped around her.

  “I know. I see you two talking when you think I’m not looking.”

  She laughed, punching me in the arm. “Why didn’t you tell her about me?”

  “It never came up,” I replied, telling her the exact same thing I told Ren.

  “It never came up?”

  “We were too wrapped up in one another, I guess.”

  “That’s what she said.”

  I raised my eyebrow at her and she shrugged. “Girls talk, Ash. It was bound to come up.”

  “I’m a little worried about that. You could be plotting world domination for all I know.”

  “I’ve decided to go back to the therapist,” she said out of nowhere.

  Violet had stopped talking to people a long time go and since I was locked away, I couldn’t really do anything about it. Our parents had cut ties with us and I was powerless behind a set of iron bars. As a result Violet had become a recluse, a total homebody, scared of the outside world. She saw a threat in everything but since I’d been let out, she’d been getting better. She still needed to talk to a pro, I wasn’t going to do shit for her but be company. I didn’t even have answers for myself, let alone for her. I was happy she and Ren were talking.

  “That’s great,” I said.

  “And what he didn’t say was, thank god.” She rolled her eyes.

  “Violet.”

  “Yeah, I know. I’ve gotta practice what I preach.”

  I stepped into her, pulling her against my chest. How the universe put us two together in the same family, I’ll never know. “You took a risk going to see Ren,” I murmured. “You’ve come a hell of a long way.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I would’ve liked to have seen you face off with Ren.”

  “She wasn’t very happy with you.”

  “I bet,” I murmured, letting Violet go.

  She shuffled nervously, obviously wanting to
talk about something. Typical Fuller trait. “Coach Miller was there, Dean and Lincoln…there was some blonde woman.”

  “Josie.”

  “Who is she?”

  “Ren’s best friend.”

  “Really?” She didn’t sound convinced.

  “They don’t look it, huh?”

  “No.”

  “Is Lincoln still as hunky as you remember?” I joked.

  Violet shoved me, hardly moving me at all. “Asshole.”

  “I knew it,” I declared. “You had a crush on him back then, didn’t you?”

  Violet huffed as she spun on her heel and exited stage left, but I followed her into the lounge where she sank down onto the couch.

  “When they let me out, we’ll do more stuff together,” I said. “We’ll get you outside…”

  “One step at a time. Let me call the therapist first.”

  I sat in one of the armchairs. “Whatever you need. Just let me know and I’ll take care of it.”

  “What about you?” Violet asked, kicking her feet up onto the couch. “What are you going to do next?”

  I hadn’t really thought about that, not until this afternoon with Ren. I wanted to make things right first and to figure out the messy feelings I had for her. That was the only thing I could see in my immediate future. There was probably a stack of other shit I was meant to be focusing on, but I couldn’t. Not yet.

  When I didn’t answer, she asked, “Are you going to fight again?”

  “Fight?” I echoed. “There’s no place else left that’ll take me.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “Pro is out. That was scratched off the list years ago.”

  “What about coaching?”

  I blinked hard, staring at Violet. Coaching? Could I be the next Coach Miller, helping fuck ups back onto the straight and narrow? I snorted. Unlikely.

  “You’ll figure it out. Ren will help.”

  “How are you my sister?” I asked, rolling my eyes.

  Violet threw a cushion at me. “I ask myself the same thing, ape.”

  Chapter 18

  Ren

  It seemed we’d gotten past the worst of it.

  Ash was getting better, he seemed happier, and me? I felt a lot more at ease about all the things that had happened since he’d come into my life.

  The days seemed to fly by and like clockwork I turned up at Ash’s and we trained, talked and did everything but the one thing my body seemed to want to do. We were both physical creatures and when we were together it had always been explosive, in bed and out. Nothing had changed in that regard.

  After all the talking and kissing, it was only a matter of time, but Ash was still holding back.

  We’d been training all day and I was currently standing in Ash’s bedroom while he showered, staring out the window at the garden below.

  The yard was picture perfect with little box hedges and rows of bulb flowers like daffodils and bluebells that thrived in the springtime. Easy care for someone stuck in a house. The high walls gave the place a sense of privacy and paired with all the greenery, you’d be forgiven if you didn’t realize you were smack bang in the middle of Melbourne’s inner suburbs.

  The house had been a good choice considering the position he and Violet were in. Privacy was exactly what they needed.

  I felt Ash behind me before I heard him.

  “It’s a nice yard,” I said, not looking away from the sun-soaked garden.

  He grunted, sliding his hands over my waist. I couldn’t not touch him; he was like a bloody magnet, so I leaned back against his chest, careful to make sure that only my shoulder blades sat against the skin of his naked torso. If I hadn’t seen the contents of his closet, I’d totally wonder if he actually owned a shirt since he went topless so much. I seriously doubted that his tattoo worked like under floor heating.

  His thumbs began to circle along my waist, tracing the bare skin between my sports bra and my shorts.

  “Ren?” he asked and I glanced up at him.

  “Hmmm?”

  “I love you.”

  I froze; my body rigid against his.

  “I love you,” he said again. “I have since that first night I found you training at Beat in the middle of the night. I just wish it hadn’t taken all this crap for me to realize it.”

  Training at Beat? He must mean the moment he’d rejected me after his erotic shoulder massage. Yeah, it must’ve been then.

  “Ren?” Ash stared down at me, looking a little panicked.

  “I was just thinking about that night,” I replied, turning so I could face him.

  He cocked his head to the side, prodding me to explain.

  “You gave me a shoulder massage…” I began, my body humming with the memory.

  “I was so fuckin’ hard Spitfire.”

  “I know. I felt it.”

  He stepped into me, lowering his lips toward mine. “And what do you feel now?”

  “Right now?” I whispered, curling my fingers into the hem of his shorts.

  He nodded, his gaze flickering down to my lips and then back up into my eyes.

  “Horny.”

  His lips curled into a smile and he fisted a hand into the hair at the nape of my neck, tugging my head back.

  “What do you feel, Spitfire?” he murmured, trailing his lips along my neck. The light caress sent shivers down my spine and my body began to ache a million times worse.

  “Love,” I whispered, staring into his eyes. “We fit. Our messy, broken edges fit.”

  He sighed, his grip tightening in my hair. “I never want to let you go again.”

  “You better not.”

  Before I could take a breath, his lips were against mine, his tongue plunging greedily into my mouth. I moaned into him, heat beginning to spark between my legs and I slid my hands down the back of his shorts, grabbing his ass. It was a clear signal that I wanted him in every way I could.

  His hand left my hair and trailed down my back, leaving a path of fire in his wake. He tugged at my sports bra, pulling it up over my head, tearing our lips apart. My skin prickled as cool air caressed my skin and I whimpered as he reached out for me.

  Palming my breasts, he rolled my nipples between his fingers.

  “I missed this,” he murmured, his voice husky. “I missed touching you.”

  Fuck, he said the right things when it came down to getting me into bed, but that was the thing...he didn’t need to say anything. His touch was more than enough and the memories it was sparking had me wet before he’d even delved below my navel.

  “I want you,” I whispered, pressing my body into his and coaxing him back toward the bed.

  He turned me around and before I knew it, I was hitting the mattress with a hot as hell fighter on top of me.

  “You can have me,” he growled before sealing his lips around my left nipple and sucking.

  It’d been so long since Ash’d touched me like this, but even though my mind had forgotten, my body hadn’t in the slightest and it exploded at his touch. His warm, wet mouth ignited a trail across my breasts and down my stomach where his hands pulled down my shorts and underwear, stripping me bare.

  His knees were on the floor, his hands hooked around my knees and he pushed me forward across the mattress, opening me up to him. His green eyes flashed with longing and he paused like he wasn’t sure what to do next.

  “Taste me,” I murmured, clamping my hands over my breasts.

  His lips curved into a wicked smile and he pushed my knees up and open. My back arched as his tongue rasped the length of my pussy and I gasped as teeth grazed over my clit.

  “Fuck, Spitfire,” he moaned, the vibration of his voice adding to the pleasure. “You taste so fuckin’ good…”

  He pressed a finger inside me, exploring and stretching, before adding another. He stroked me, setting up a rhythm and hitting all the places he knew would elicit the most pleasure. He remembered…after all this time, he remembered...

  I
rolled my hips, grinding against his hand as he fucked me with his fingers and sucked on my clit, and fisted my hands into his hair. Everything that had gone wrong between us, all the secrets that had been laid bare, nothing had prepared me for the moment he’d told me his true feelings. Nothing had prepared me for the desire his long awaited touch would bring.

  He tore his mouth away and pumped his fingers, arching over me so his palm massaged my clit. He watched me as I writhed underneath him, he watched me take pleasure from his hand and just as I was about to reach the edge, he pulled his fingers away.

  I whimpered at the sudden emptiness, so close yet so far from the release I burned for. Ash picked me up and let me fall farther up the mattress, pressing his weight over me, his erection rubbing hot and hard against my thigh.

  “Hold on, Spitfire,” he moaned, shifting so the head of his cock pushed against my opening. “I want to come with you. I want-”

  He pushed into me, filling, stretching, and claiming me. We’d done this so many times before, but this time was different. This time he’d said he loved me.

  I angled my hips upward as he circled his, driving his cock deeper, easing his full length inside me. His entire body shivered against mine and I clutched his ass, holding him firm.

  Teeth grazed my neck. “So fuckin’ deep…”

  I wasn’t sure what to say, so I moved against him, gasping at the spike of pleasure that shot through my clit. He moved back, his cock leaving me and then he pressed forward, filling me again. Pleasure burned through my body and I moaned, digging my fingernails into his back.

  “I can’t be gentle,” he said through a heavy breath.

  “I don’t want gentle,” I replied, pulling his mouth toward mine.

  Our lips met and his tongue plunged deep, twining with mine. He chose that moment to pull his cock back and thrust deep, hitting my clit so hard that I moaned into his mouth.

  Pulling my lips from his, I sucked in a desperate breath as he began fucking me, pounding into my body and giving away that he’d been holding onto as much tension these past few months as I had. He’d wanted me desperately, completely, and just like our first time on the mat at Beat, it was raw and animalistic, his need to claim granting every desire my body wanted.